


Acid Trip

by Kyarorain



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: General, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-30
Updated: 2009-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-06 00:50:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyarorain/pseuds/Kyarorain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an incident involving Team Rocket and ketchup, Ash and friends discover that things can only get worse, when they meet a clone and an old adversary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Acid Trip**

**Acid Trip**

* * *

This fanfic is an indirect sequel to A Salty Situation, but it isn't really required to read that first. It might help with understanding some things in this fanfic though. For some reason, I felt like writing up a sequel to a fanfic that I wrote over five years ago. I am a very odd person sometimes. Random title too, yeah, but what the heck. This fanfic is guaranteed to be fairly cracktastic and a fun read if you are in the mood for random humour.

Pokémon is owned by Game Freak and Nintendo.

* * *

There was a cafe in the middle of nowhere, which sported the unoriginal name of PokéCafe. Despite the sheer laziness in naming it, it didn't deter people from stopping by for some refreshments. Male customers got to have some fanservice in the form of the waitresses, whose costumes were all themed on cute Pokémon and had suspiciously short skirts.

Dawn could hardly believe they had managed to get their skirts shorter than hers. She rested her chin on one hand, lazily stirring the straw in her strawberry milkshake as she tried to spot all the Pokémon the waitresses were themed after. So far, she had seen Clefairy, Pikachu, Buneary and Pachirisu.

"I guess you're happy, Pikachu," Ash said as he watched his Pokémon happily licking at a bottle of ketchup. "How can you honestly stand eating all that stuff from the bottle anyway?" He had tried it once and got sick of the taste pretty quickly. Then his mother had told him off for eating from the ketchup bottle. Well, he had been much younger then and thought it was okay to eat condiments from the bottle/jar/whatever.

"Ahh!" Brock had caught sight of an older waiter with a busty chest, whose theme was Gardevoir, which was kind of odd since Gardevoir didn't fall into the small and cute group like the other Pokémon did. Dawn and Ash watched in exasperation as he jumped out of his chair and ran across the café toward her. "Please take my order," he begged, falling onto his knee and gazing up at the surprised waitress. "I wish to order a candlelit dinner tonight for just the two of us with romantic music, so that we can dine together and gaze lovingly into each other's eyes-"

At that moment, Croagunk appeared from the Poké Ball, readying a hand. The tips of its fingers glowed bright purple. It smiled sinisterly right before jabbing Brock right in the ass and causing him to freeze.

"I... feel... numb..." Brock moaned, collapsing to the floor in a pained heap. Croagunk chuckled and grabbed one of his legs, pulling him away as Ash and Dawn watched on.

"Hey, where did Pikachu go?" Dawn asked as she looked back at the table. Pikachu had been sitting right there a moment ago.

"Huh? Pikachu?" Ash blinked in confusion. Just where could Pikachu have gone? He heard a happy "Pika" from beneath the table and bent down, catching sight of Pikachu beneath the table. The mouse Pokémon was currently doing unspeakable things to the ketchup bottle. "Pikachu!" he exclaimed, grabbing Pikachu and pulling him out from under the table. "What did Brock say about getting friendly with the ketchup bottle?"

"Chuuuu..." Pikachu hung its ears in disappointment.

Ash placed Pikachu on the table. "I don't even get it anyway. What's so bad about hugging the ketchup bottle?" He reached down again and picked up the ketchup bottle.

"You sure it was just hugging the bottle?" Dawn asked.

Ash held the ketchup bottle out of reach as Pikachu tried to jump up and grab it. "Actually, I think the word Brock used was humping, whatever that means."

"Oh. I see." Dawn smiled awkwardly, a bead of sweat trickling down her head.

Meanwhile, Brock returned from whatever dark and scary place Croagunk had taken him to. He sat at the table with a glum expression, accepting the fact he would remain a virgin for a little while longer.

"Hey, Brock, why is it a bad thing for Pikachu to hump the ketchup bottle again?" Ash asked, still holding the ketchup bottle away from Pikachu. "I forgot."

"Pika! Pi!" Pikachu cried, reaching up for it.

"Why?" Brock started sobbing, putting his face in his hands. "Even a ketchup bottle gets more love than I do! I'm going to be a virgin for the rest of my life!"

"Huh? What's a virgin?" Ash stared blankly at him.

Dawn sighed and turned her attention to Piplup, who was also standing on the table. Strangely enough, the café had no rules about Pokémon on the table. Hygiene wasn't so important to them. "Piplup, do something cute and pointless like you always do."

"Pip! Piplup!" Piplup chirped, glad to have some attention at last.

Brock let a loud, disgusted noise and looked at Ash in exasperation. "How can you still not know that? Hasn't anyone taught you..." He broke off, shaking his head. "Oh, yeah. Of course not." Brock tried to compose himself and reached for his mug of coffee. He really needed the coffee right now.

"So, you're a virgin and you're not happy, huh?" Ash blinked. Well, he really didn't know what a virgin was. Maybe a virgin was someone who got picked on for flirting with women. That was something he didn't do, so he guessed he wasn't a virgin. "Man, I'm sure glad I'm not a virgin."

Brock did a giant spit take, spewing coffee all over the table. It even flew out of his nose. He collapsed on the table, coughing and hacking furiously.

"Ash. That word does not mean whatever you are thinking it means," Dawn said in a deadpan voice. "You are most definitely a virgin."

"Oh. So, what does it mean then?" Ash looked at Brock, who seemed to be having a seizure. "Did I say something wrong?"

"At least my mom gave me the talk before I began my journey," Dawn said with a small sigh. "I'm not sure why she even bothered. I'm going to be ten years old forever."

"Yeah... why don't we even age?" Ash wondered. "I've been travelling for years and somehow I'm still ten. It doesn't even make sense."

"PIKA!" Pikachu had finally had enough and resorted to shocking Ash, who dropped the ketchup bottle, looking stunned. Pikachu gleefully snatched up the bottle and started licking at the ketchup again with a blissful expression.

"That's it!" Brock yelled, jumping to his feet. "I'm never going to find the woman of my dreams tagging along as a side character who gets ignored all the time. What have I managed to do so far? Nothing!" He ran out of the café.

"Eh, he'll be back," Ash said in a dismissive tone, as Dawn watched on in surprise. "Pikachu! You didn't have to shock me just for that!"

"Pika." Pikachu happily licked away, ignoring him.

"But shouldn't we go after him and see if he's okay?" Dawn asked in a worried voice.

"He's just having one of his bad days." Ash shrugged. "He'll return before dinner. After all, who else is going to cook for us?"

Eventually, Ash and Dawn left the café with Pikachu and Piplup. They were walking along the road when they saw a giant ketchup bottle.

"Bwuh?" Ash and Dawn mumbled in unison, staring at the giant ketchup bottle.

"Oh, so you've caught sight of the Krazy Ketchup Kabin!" A woman wearing a red suit, with her reddish hair tied up in a bun below a red hat, popped up before them with a big smile.

"Krazy... Ketchup... Kabin?" Dawn repeated slowly.

"It's kind of hard not to see," Ash pointed out. "Why is it sitting in the middle of the road?"

"To get your attention of course!" A man dressed in a red suit like the woman's, with blue hair, moved into view. "Inside this... uh, cabin..." Why a cabin anyway? It didn't even look like a cabin! "Is an unimaginable amount of ketchup."

"Pi?" Pikachu looked positively excited to hear that. A big smile was already showing on his face.

"It's the perfect treat for ketchup lovers!" A midget, wearing a red suit just like the other two, sidled up to the door on the giant ketchup bottle and opened it. The door was just the right size for a small Pokémon to fit through. "Ketchup loving Pokémon are welcome to come in and help themselves!"

"PIKA!" Pikachu ran toward the door in delight.

"Hey, Pikachu, wait!" Ash exclaimed. "You just ate a whole bottle of ketchup back at the café!"

"PIP!" Piplup was tired of being ignored, so it immediately did what it did best... copying Pikachu, and tore after the electric mouse, following it into the giant ketchup bottle.

"Piplup... I didn't know it liked ketchup." Dawn put her hands on her hips, looking confused.

"Your Piplup's just trying to copy my Pikachu!" Ash accused.

"You're just jealous that I'm as much a main character as you are now." Dawn put on a smug smile. In the Japanese version, she even got her name in the opening text with his! Clearly, this made her a very important character and she couldn't help rubbing it in.

"Yeah, well, I'm still going to ditch you and get another female companion when it's time for me to go to another new region." Ash crossed his arms and closed his eyes.

"You're what?" Dawn exclaimed, turning and looking at him with a horrified expression.

They were too busy bickering to notice the suspiciously feline like midget closing the door and locking it. The trio then disappeared behind the machine. Suddenly, the ketchup bottle fell apart, revealing the Meowth balloon with a small box attached to the bottom where Pikachu and Piplup were trapped.

"What the-?" Ash shouted in surprise as the balloon lifted up in the air. "Pikachu!"

"Piplup!" Dawn cried out.

"Listen, is that a voice I hear?" The woman asked.

"It's speaking to me loud and clear," said the man.

"On the wind!"

"Past the stars!"

"In your ear!" Their small companion spoke.

"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."

"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."

"A rose by any other name smells just as sweet."

"When everything's worse, our work is complete."

"Jessie!" Jessie pulled off her suit, revealing her Team Rocket uniform beneath.

"James!" James did the same.

"And Meowth, now dat's a name!" Meowth threw off his suit as well.

"Putting the do-gooders in their place..."

"We're Team Rocket..."

"In your face!" the three exclaimed together.

"Team Rocket!" Ash yelled as he and Dawn ran after the balloon. "Give Pikachu back!"

"If you want Pikachu back, you're gonna have to ketchup with us first!" Meowth called down. He laughed, along with Jessie and James.

"That was lame," Dawn groaned, looking exasperated.

"Pikachu, try using Thunderbolt!" Ash shouted.

Somehow, Pikachu was able to hear him from inside the cramped little box. They heard the sound of electric crackling, but nothing happened.

"Nice try, twerp!" Jessie smirked. "It's electric proof!"

"Take this!" James hoisted something that looked like a cannon over his shoulder and began firing globs of what looked like red goo down at them. Dawn narrowly avoided one of them, and another whizzed onto Ash's shoulder with a loud splat.

"What the...?" Ash stopped and looked at the sticky red stuff. He then stuck a finger into it and sucked at it.

"Ash, what are you doing?" Dawn exclaimed in revulsion. "You don't even know-"

"It's ketchup." Ash looked up at Team Rocket. "What's the big idea?"

"Want some more?" James fired the cannon again.

"Waugh!" Dawn shrieked, running for dear life and jumping behind a tree where she hid, curling up in a shivering heap.

"Dawn, what are you doing?" Ash dodged a blob of ketchup, looking toward the tree. "Piplup's in trouble. It's no time to be hiding!"

"But... the ketchup!" Dawn peered out from behind the tree. "It's messy. It will ruin my clothes and get in my hair."

Ash's mouth dropped open. She was hiding because just because of that? He turned around again and received a giant blob of ketchup to the face. "Ugh..." Ash clenched his fists, his body shaking with fury. He calmly reached off and wiped off the ketchup, glaring at the balloon. "This is getting really unfunny."

"Then how about another joke?" Meowth paused, trying to think of one. "What's tomato with you?" He realised everyone were giving him blank stares. "Uh... I'm all out of jokes..."

"That's it!" Ash threw a Poké Ball in the air. "I choose you, Staravia!" Staravia appeared, winging its way through the air. "Now take down that balloon with Wing Attack!"

Jessie, James and Meowth watched in horror as Staravia neatly sliced one wing through their balloon, causing a large rip to appear where air started rapidly escaping. The balloon crashed to the ground. James let go of the cannon as the basket fell and it went flying.

The three Team Rocket members sat on the ground by the wreckage of the balloon's basket, grumbling and looking around. On the bright side at least, the box containing Pikachu and Piplup hadn't broken open.

"Let's run out of here with them real fast," Meowth hissed out the side of his mouth.

"It's going to be a little harder to get away," Jessie complained.

"Where did the cannon go?" James looked up to see Ash approaching them with a grin, holding the cannon. "Uh... you wouldn't..."

"Yes, I would." Ash's grin widened and he blasted at them with the ketchup. They screamed as the giant blobs of ketchup hit them squarely and they were covered in the red goo.

"Now I know what it's like to get a taste of my own medicine." James swallowed the ketchup that had got into his mouth.

"Great, I'm gonna need a bath to get all this ketchup outta my fur and I hate baths." Meowth looked down at his fur with a grimace.

Jessie was silent. She was hunched over, her hair, face and the top of her shirt dripping with ketchup, and her body was shaking violently. Her teeth were gritted and she was clenching her fists.

James and Meowth looked at her, recognising the danger signs, and quickly moved away from her. They didn't want to get caught in her furious rampage.

"Ash, what are you playing around for?" Dawn exclaimed, running over to the box that held Pikachu and Piplup hostage. "There's no time for that!"

"You...annoying twerp..." Jessie said in a low, dangerous voice, rising to her feet. "I'm going to... make you pay... for that." She raised her head, her eyes glowing with red fire.

Ash suddenly felt very, very small. It also seemed as if Jessie was looming way over him and he was entirely in her shadow, while fire blazed in the background around them. "Uh..." he managed to speak, his eyes widening in surprise.

"I can't get this open!" Dawn cried out. "How do I get this open?"

"WAH!" Ash freaked out and started shooting the cannon in random directions, not realising he was only making Jessie even angrier.

Dawn froze as a glob of ketchup hit her squarely in the back. She just knew what that soft, wet splat had been. Her mouth hung open and she stared into space for a moment.

"Help me!" Ash was now dangling in the air while Jessie held him up by his jacket. He had dropped the cannon and now had no weapon to defend himself with against Jessie's wrath.

"Hey, Jessie, put him down!" James ran over to her and put a hand on her arm. "We can't use physical violence against the twerps!"

"Of course. You're right." Jessie dropped Ash to the ground and he sighed in relief. Next she grabbed Seviper's Poké Ball. "Come out, Seviper!"

Dawn rose to her feet, her eyes narrowed in unmistakable fury. Her body was shaking, a sure sign that she was feeling incredibly angry.

"Seviper, Poison Tail!" Jessie shouted.

Ash ran from the poison snake, not willing to get hit with its Poison Tail in the least. "Staravia, use Aerial Ace on it!" he shouted desperately. Staravia quickly got into action, flying down at Seviper.

"Whew... Jessie sure is a scary person." Ash walked over to Dawn, wiping his forehead. He didn't notice the homicidal expression on her face.

"Ash Ketchum... you are so dead," Dawn hissed in an angry voice.

"Wha... what did I do?" Ash exclaimed, backing away from her.

"What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO?" Dawn turned around so that he could see the ketchup stain on her back. "That's what you did, you moron!" she screamed in his face.

"This is so ridiculous," Meowth muttered. "I thought we were supposed to be stealing Pokémon and instead everyone's getting into petty fights."

"Lighten up, Dawn, it's only ketchup," Ash protested. "Anyway, can it wait until I'm finished with this?" He turned his attention to Staravia, who was currently avoiding Seviper. "Staravia, use Brave Bird!"

"I'm going to make you pay the dry cleaning bill for this!" Dawn exclaimed.

Eventually, Staravia managed to take down Seviper. Then Dawn realised that Meowth was holding a key, which was obviously meant to open the box, and she lunged at the cat Pokémon to try and get the key off him.

"Ugh!" Jessie recalled Seviper. "I'm not done yet! Go, Yanmega!"

"This is getting tiring." Ash threw another Poké Ball. "I choose you, Chimchar!" The fire monkey appeared in a flash of light. "Use Flame Wheel!"

Chimchar promptly roasted Yanmega before it could even do anything.

"Ahhhh!" Jessie screamed in frustration, recalling Yanmega. "James!" she snapped at her partner. "It's your turn!"

"But..." James was about to protest, but a glare from Jessie silenced him and he shivered. "Right... okay... go, Carnivine," he whimpered, tossing out the Poké Ball. Carnivine came out and turned around, chomping on his head.

"Got it!" Dawn held up the key triumphantly, kicking Meowth aside. She ran over to unlock the box and Pikachu and Piplup happily jumped out.

"Oh no!" Jessie and Meowth cried out in unison. James was still struggling to free himself from Carnivine's mouth.

"Alright, Pikachu!" Ash exclaimed. "Now hit Team Rocket with your Thunderbolt attack!"

Team Rocket screamed as the electricity hit them, then they went soaring into the air. "It looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Acid Trip**

**Acid Trip**

* * *

At the Team Rocket base in Viridian City, all the way back in Kanto, Giovanni was sitting in his seat in his office and stroking the Persian in his lap. These days, it was all he ever did apart from participating in Meowth's bizarre fantasies.

At that moment, a Team Rocket grunt came in. "Uh, sir? I have come to report to you on the project to clone Mew."

"Ah, yes, the Mew cloning project." Giovanni nodded sagely. "It's funny, I almost feel like I've done it before but you would think I would remember doing something like that. How is it coming along?"

"The clone is actually completed," the grunt replied. "We tried to name it Mewtwo, but when we attempted to register it with Game Freak, they told us there was already a Mewtwo."

"Really? How bizarre." Giovanni blinked. He had never heard of a Mewtwo, as far as he knew. "Well, just name it Mewthree then."

"Your originality is astounding, sir," the grunt said with a blank expression. Giovanni couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. "Would you like to see Mewthree now?"

"Yes. Bring it in," Giovanni ordered, a smirk crossing his face. At last, he would have his powerful Mew clone.

The grunt went to the door and beckoned. In came a tall, bright pink catlike Pokémon with a goofy grin on its face and wide, blue eyes. It had a lithe, slender body and was about half the size of Mewtwo. Its tail was closer to Mew's. Its ears, however, were sharper and more catlike. It strutted further into the room, holding up its dainty paws in front of its rounded chest and tottering along on shapely hind legs.

Giovanni stared at the freak of nature, his jaw dropping open. "What the hell is this?" he asked angrily. It was much too cute! Then again, he wasn't exactly trying to clone the ugliest Pokémon on the planet, so it was to be expected. How Mewtwo could have been spawned from something so cute, nobody really knew.

"Master Giovanni!" squeaked the pink abomination as it threw itself upon him and showered him with kisses. Persian hissed angrily and jumped off Giovanni's lap, staking across the floor where it curled up in a corner and began grooming itself.

Giovanni shuddered in disgust as he felt the wet, furry lips touching his face. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"I have been created to serve you, Master Giovanni," Mewthree said in a high, squeaky voice, batting its baby blue eyes. "I will do anything that you ask of me. I am your loyal servant."

Giovanni's temper was rising fast and he couldn't think of what to do, so he decided to shoot the messenger. As the Rocket grunt lay bleeding on the floor, he took a deep breath and looked squarely at Mewthree who was sitting on his chest. "Okay, what moves do you know?"

"Teleport, Teeter Dance, Sing and Acid Trip," Mewthree replied.

Giovanni couldn't believe it. This Pokémon was next to completely useless! "Wait a minute... Acid Trip?" It was probably some strange new Pokémon move he hadn't heard of before. "Well, Mewthree, I have a mission for you."

"What's that?" Mewthree enquired, tilting its head.

"Uh..." Giovanni racked his brains, trying to think of something. Then a piece of paper floated down out of the air and landed on his desk. He picked it up and read the words out loud. "Go after Ash Ketchum and his friends in Sinnoh and bring them back here." Who was this Ash Ketchum supposed to be anyway? He had trouble just remembering his own employees after all. Poor Jessie, James and Meowth were still unaware that their boss now had no idea who they even were.

"At once, Master Giovanni!" Mewthree floated into the air, doing a clumsy bow before disappearing in a flash of light.

Giovanni massaged his forehead and opened a drawer, reaching for the bottle of aspirin.

Ash and Dawn were walking along the road again, keeping an eye out for their companion. However, it seemed that Brock was nowhere to be found. It hadn't occurred to Ash to simply send out Staravia again and search from the sky. Their search was suddenly interrupted when a pink Pokémon appeared in the air before them.

"Huh?" Dawn whipped out her Pokédex and pointed it at the strange Pokémon.

"No data," replied the Pokédex.

"Eh?" Dawn raised an eyebrow in shock. "How can that be?"

"Hey, want to hear something funny?" Ash asked. "May and I, back in Kanto, were able to use our Pokédexes to look up a Bonsly, Munchlax... okay, that was in Hoenn, but what's the difference? And, uh, oh yeah, a Chatot and a Weavile. All of them are native to Sinnoh. But then when I looked up an Electivire, there was no data. What's the deal with that? I mean, Electivire is a Sinnoh Pokémon too!"

"I am Mewthree," spoke the mysterious Pokémon.

"Mewthree?" Dawn repeated. "Is there a Mew and a Mewtwo as well?"

"Yeah," Ash replied. "I've met Mewtwo. There's only one Mewtwo. Plus, I've also seen at least two Mew. But I don't understand how there could be a Mewthree. Mewtwo was cloned from a Mew after all." Had Mewtwo cloned himself? No, that was a silly idea. Mewtwo had enough issues of his own without cloning himself, besides this Pokémon looked much more like Mew than Mewtwo. It was more likely another clone of Mew.

"You are Ash Ketchum, right?" Mewthree fixed Ash with a beady stare.

"Huh?" Ash pointed at himself, looking surprised. "How do you know me?"

"I have specific orders from Master Giovanni," Mewthree spoke, tilting its head and smiling. "Will you both come peacefully to Team Rocket's base?"

"Team Rocket?" Dawn exclaimed. "No way!"

"You've got to be kidding me!" Ash was just about ready to issue an order to Pikachu.

"Then, I have no choice." Mewthree used Teeter Dance on them. Ash and Dawn began to dance. For some strange reason, Teeter Dance didn't affect Pikachu and Piplup, so they simply watched on in puzzlement as their trainers started dancing.

"What... I can't stop moving!" Dawn exclaimed, looking shocked. "My feet!"

"This is kind of fun," Ash muttered as he pulled off some fancy dance moves. "But I really don't want to go to any place where Team Rocket is in charge. Hey, Pikachu, try using Thunderbolt on me!"

Dawn looked incredulous as Ash was shocked and fell over, twitching. His arms and legs continued to move as he lay on his back. "Uh, I don't think that works," she said out the side of her mouth.

"Duly noted," Ash groaned, still feeling a little overwhelmed from the shock. His body stood up and began to boogie once more.

"Now for the next step!" Mewthree chirped, looking positively cheerful as it used Acid Trip. A wave of psychedelic colours flowed over everyone. Suddenly, Ash and Dawn as well as Pikachu and Piplup were seeing something entirely different. They were now standing in what appeared to be the bedroom of some house. The window showed them that it was dark outside, which was strange considering that it was supposed to be in the middle of the day.

"Why are we in someone's bedroom?" Dawn walked around the room, coming precariously close to the bedside table located next to the bed. The bedside table wasn't particularly dangerous, but the lamp sitting innocently upon it was.

**Wild Lamp appeared!**

Ash and Dawn blinked in confusion. A lamp was now hovering in the air before them, bearing fiendish teeth. The lampshade was watching them with menacing eyes and the lamp's cord was waving around threateningly. Not only that, but a white square had now appeared below the lamp with the words 'Fight', 'Pokémon', 'Bag' and 'Run'. Ash and Dawn tried to get their heads around what was happening as words flashed in the air, declaring that Ash sent out Pikachu and Dawn sent out Piplup. The lamp, realising it was outnumbered, was quickly joined by the Malevolent Teddy Bear.

"Okay, now what?" Ash tried to move, but found that he couldn't do so. Dawn seemed to be in the same situation. His curiosity peaked as he wondered what would happen if he touched the strange white square. So, he reached out and touched the word 'Fight.' The words on the square changed to read 'Thunderbolt', 'Quick Attack', 'Iron Tail' and 'Volt Tackle'. "These are Pikachu's moves!"

"I see." Dawn frowned. "It looks like we have to do this by touching the words on the screen. This makes no sense at all."

"No kidding," Ash muttered as he touched the word 'Thunderbolt'. After a long pause, he wondered if he was supposed to pick a target and tentatively poked the Malevolent Teddy Bear. Then Pikachu jumped into action, releasing a massive shock that utterly destroyed the stuffed creature.

"I think we've got the hang of this now," Dawn said as the white square displayed the battle choices again. This time, she was the one who selected 'Fight', and followed it up with 'BubbleBeam'. Piplup sent out a spray of bubbles that caused the lamp to explode upon impact.

Now that the battle was over and they weren't frozen to the spot anymore, Ash and Dawn very quickly left the bedroom. They had no desire to get into further fights with supposedly inanimate objects. When they left the room, they found themselves standing outside in the middle of a desert with the sun beating down on them. As they turned back, they saw that there was nothing but desert behind them.

"What happened to the house?" Dawn blinked in bewilderment. "And wasn't it night outside?"

"It sure is hot." Ash wiped his forehead. "Are there supposed to be any deserts this hot in Sinnoh?"

"I don't think so," Dawn said uncertainly. "It's more likely we're inside some kind of bizarre dream."

Suddenly, the world turned upside down and they fell screaming, along with their Pokémon, onto a pile of fluffy white clouds. As they looked up, they could now see what looked like a planet. Ash and Dawn held onto their Pokémon, looking quite concerned about the strange events taking place around them.

Then a Chatot came flying out of nowhere. "Regnad taerg ni era uoy," it said.

"Eh?" Ash stared at the Chatot. "What did you just say?"

"Nocab htiw llew seog eseehc," the Chatot continued speaking in a very serious tone, giving them a penetrating stare.

"Do you think it's trying to tell us something important?" Dawn wondered.

"Pika pikachu!" Pikachu tried to speak to the Chatot, waving its arms.

"Eil a si ekac eht!" the Chatot declared dramatically, taking to the sky with a flap of its wings.

Then the acid trip came to a sudden end. Ash and Dawn awoke to find themselves in a cage, with Pikachu and Piplup as well. They looked around in consternation, wondering if this was even real or not. Unfortunately for them, it was.

Meanwhile, in Sinnoh, Brock had simply been wandering around for a while. He had been unable to find any attractive females to hit on, and even if he had been able to, Croagunk wouldn't have let him flirt for long. Now he felt like going back to find Ash and Dawn. Hopefully they hadn't yet left the PokéCafe otherwise he was going to be searching for quite a while. Now where had the place been again? Brock was wandering through a path going back through a wood when he heard familiar sounds coming from nearby and crept up to see Team Rocket lying in a ditch, looking battered and bruised. Evidently, they had been blasted off recently, which meant he must have just missed yet another attempt by Team Rocket to steal Pikachu.

"We've found ourselves in a right muddle, haven't we?" Meowth cracked a joke, shifting around in the mud at the bottom of the ditch. Jessie and James just looked at him balefully. "Hey, only trying to lighten the mood here."

"That twerp," Jessie said in a disgusted voice. "He practically buries us in ketchup and then blasts us off. When I next see him, I'm going to give him a lesson he won't forget."

"You know, for no reason at all, I suddenly feel like saying something very profound about myself," James spoke up.

Jessie and Meowth stared at him.

"I've wanted to get this off my chest for a while now," James said seriously, looking at them intently. "It's time I told the truth."

They said nothing, just continued to stare at him while wondering what he was talking about.

"I am not gay!" James burst out, his eyes tearing up. "Everyone thinks I'm gay, but I'm not! I haven't even worn women's clothes since our early days in Hoenn!" He was seized by his emotions and threw himself upon Jessie, weeping. Jessie awkwardly patted his back, not sure what else to do.

"Uh, you feeling okay, Jimmy?" Meowth raised an eyebrow. James seemed unnaturally emotional right now.

"Just because I used to be a cross dresser, it doesn't make me gay." James sniffled. He eventually let go of Jessie and sat back. "Every time I blast off, I see my life flashing before my eyes. This time, I was thinking about all the things I've wanted to say before I died."

"We've blasted off over four hundred times and we're still alive," Jessie pointed out. "Even though it makes no logical sense."

"Well, if we were going to die, what would be the last thing you guys would want to say?" James asked, apparently feeling quite morbid. Jessie and Meowth sighed in unison.

"I can't tell you the absolute last thing I would say because I'll get hurt," Meowth said. Jessie and James shot him suspicious looks. "So I'll just go with the second last... actually, no, wait. Um... not that one either. Okay, I got one. I once got high off catnip and it was the best time I ever had in my life. I'm not sure you would want to know what I was seeing though."

"That's it?" Jessie frowned at Meowth. Sometimes, Jessie and James suspected that Meowth wasn't quite sane and it was times like this that helped convince them of that fact. His boss fantasies were usually pretty out there. "Okay, this is my biggest secret. I am actually the daughter of a king and queen, heir to the throne of a very rich kingdom, but they had to send me away as a baby to protect me from an evil witch and I cannot return to the kingdom until I reach the age of 25."

James and Meowth groaned and turned away from her, not believing her tall tale in the least.

"It's true, I tell you!" Jessie raged. "I am secretly a princess in disguise and my parents are waiting for the day I return to the palace, then I'll be rich and loved." She broke off and let out a small sigh, coming back down to earth. "If only it was true."

Brock decided he had heard enough of their strange banter and slowly backed away, trying not to draw any attention to himself as he turned away. He hurried off along the path away from them, resuming his futile search for Ash and Dawn. Naturally, their being in another region altogether in the first place made his search just a little bit difficult. By the time he had found the wreckage of the balloon and the giant ketchup bottle, Brock was close to giving up. What could possibly have happened to them?

Back at the Team Rocket base in Kanto, Giovanni was standing on a balcony overlooking a room. Mewthree was in there, standing inside a tube with wires connected to its body and watching him with wide, earnest eyes. "You certainly can do a good job when it comes to getting me some hostages, Mewthree," Giovanni did he want a hostage again? He hadn't even spoken to those kids Mewthree had dragged in yet, he had simply ordered his grunts to toss them in a cage while they were still asleep and left them to suffer.

"Master Giovanni, are you really going to just leave me alone inside this room?" Mewthree asked, pouting slightly. "It's kind of dark and scary, and I don't want to be on my own. I want to be with you."

"Silence, you pathetic clone!" Giovanni clenched a fist. "You are nothing more than a mere tool for me to use to get what I want."

"A tool?" Mewthree repeated, looking stunned. "I am just a tool?"

"You were created to serve humans and that is all you are good for," Giovanni said with a sneer. "You cannot expect me to treat you like an ordinary Pokémon when what you really are is a freak of nature."

"Then... Master Giovanni doesn't love me?" Mewthree said in a querulous voice, its eyes starting to well up with tears.

Giovanni just threw his head back and laughed in amusement. Of course he couldn't love what he considered to be a stupid freak.

"This... this..." Mewthree whimpered, then its eyes narrowed and it gave Giovanni a hard look. "This cannot be my destiny!" With that, it started blowing stuff up and fled from the base. Seconds later, the entire base exploded and Mewthree disappeared into the sky.

Giovanni sat among the rubble of his base, blinking in consternation. Suddenly, he had a very strange case of déjà vu, but he wasn't quite sure why.


	3. Acid Trip Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Acid Trip**

**Acid Trip**

* * *

Somehow, the explosion had managed to free Ash and Dawn from their cage. They were unharmed however and quickly ran for it. The screaming, fleeing Team Rocket grunts just ignored them because they had bigger worries than escaping hostages right now, like the fact half the base had been blown away or that the remains of it were engulfed in flames and smoke. Their relief at escaping the base however was short lived when they managed to reach the nearby city.

"What's the matter, Ash?" Dawn asked when she saw the dismayed expression on his face.

Ash gestured at the familiar buildings stretching before them. He knew this place well enough, having been here a few times. "Welcome to Viridian City."

"Viridian City?" Dawn repeated, blinking rapidly. "But isn't that in Kanto?" Ash just nodded. "We're in Kanto?" she yelled. "That freaky pink Pokémon brought us to another region? I don't believe it! It's going to take forever to get back to Sinnoh and Brock will probably be looking for us and what about my next contest?" Dawn gripped her head with her hands, looking positively horrified. Piplup, who was perched atop her head, spoke in a disconsolate town.

"Coming here really brings back memories." Ash was now speaking to Pikachu, who sat on his shoulder. "Right, Pikachu?" Pikachu nodded in agreement.

"What are we going to do?" Dawn screamed in frustration. "This is a disaster!"

"Since we're in Kanto, why don't we pay a visit to Cerulean City?" Ash suggested. Pikachu seemed to like that idea.

"But what about our journey?" Dawn protested as she followed after Ash. "Isn't it kind of important?"

"Don't be silly, Dawn. If it was that important, would we keep dropping everything for the sake of helping random filler characters with problems?" Ash asked.

Dawn had no answer for that.

Eventually, they arrived at the Cerulean City gym. To Ash's surprise, Misty was not the only friend he met when he arrived.

"Hey, Ash," Tracey greeted him. "Didn't expect to see you here. I think Misty's oldest sister totally fancies me."

Ash just stared at him. "Uh... okay then."

"Don't listen to him," Misty said, shoving Tracey aside. "It's great to see you, Ash, but how come you're here? I thought you were in another region." Despite her questioning, she looked quite happy to see Ash, since she had been missing him quite a bit.

"Well, see, this weird Pokémon brought us to Kanto," Ash explained, rubbing the back of his head. "Since we were only just over in Viridian City, I thought I'd come by and say hi." When had he last seen Misty anyway? Not for quite a while, he knew that much. Why hadn't she come to Sinnoh for a visit yet?

"Hey, aren't you that person who sometimes hangs behind the poetry guy when we talk to him on the phone?" Dawn pointed at Tracey.

"It's Professor Oak, not poetry guy," Tracey said in a patient tone. He already knew about the strange girl who had an obsession with Professor Oak's poetry, so it wasn't a surprise to him. "I'm Tracey. Misty, this is Dawn, the new girl Ash travels with."

"Getting to be a bit of a habit, isn't it?" Misty glanced at Ash, who shrugged sheepishly. He didn't know why he kept picking up ten year old girls who were just starting their Pokémon journey and coincidentally wanted to be co-ordinators. "I'm Misty," she said to Dawn. "I used to travel with him."

"You're that girl he had the lure designed after," Dawn stated. Misty raised an eyebrow. "Nice to meet you."

"Okay, now we're all acquainted with the new girl, where's Brock anyway?" Misty looked at Ash again.

"Um, well, he's kind of still in Sinnoh," Ash replied with an awkward grin. "He wasn't with us at the time because he threw a tantrum and ran off. I think he was upset about still being a virgin or something like that. What's so bad about being a virgin anyway? I still don't even know what that is."

"Good grief." Misty slapped a palm against her forehead and sighed in disgust. Whether she was exasperated at Brock, Ash, or even both of them, it wasn't known.

"Hey, since we're just standing around and doing nothing, you know what we should do?" Tracey asked. Everyone looked at him. "We should all take a trip to Sinnoh. Why don't we go to Pallet Town and ask Professor Oak?"

Dawn liked the idea of going back to Sinnoh, as did Ash, and Misty realised she was tired of pretending she didn't exist. She wanted to at least show her face in Sinnoh, even if certain people with the job of writing episodes didn't give a damn about her anymore. So, after leaving the Cerulean City gym in the hands of Daisy, Lily and Violet, everyone went to Pallet Town.

"I totally only came over here to bring Professor Oak a nice apple pie," Delia lied as she stood next to Professor Oak with a big grin on her face.

"Can I have some of that apple pie?" Ash asked. Misty rolled her eyes and muttered something unintelligible. She knew perfectly well that Delia was not simply here to deliver apple pie and Ash was as gullible as ever when it came to believing excuses.

"Sorry, Ash, we already ate it all," Professor Oak said hastily. "We were that hungry. So, what brings you all over here?"

"Tracey thinks we should all go to Sinnoh together," Misty spoke. "Apparently Ash and Dawn got brought over here by some weird Pokémon."

"So, I should just drop everything and we should all go to another region for no real reason, other than for Ash and Dawn to get back?" Professor Oak asked slowly. Everyone nodded in unison, even Delia. "Eh, why the heck not, it's not like I have anything important to do right now. I've pretty much done everything that needed doing." Delia giggled at this and he coughed awkwardly. "Let's all get into my van then and go."

In Sinnoh, Brock had somehow happened to come across Gary. How this managed to happen in the first place was completely irrelevant, and someone as awesome as Gary clearly deserved to get some screentime anyway. At the moment, there was a secret underground base of Gary fangirls plotting to take over the anime producers' HQ and force the writers to put Gary in more episodes, or even better, replace Brock with Gary. However, they weren't quite sure how to go about this yet, but this is completely irrelevant anyway.

"You managed to lose Ash and Dawn?" Gary folded his arms and regarded Brock with a curious look. "I guess not having any eyes must make it pretty hard to find them again."

"What the? I do have eyes!" Brock exclaimed. "That joke stopped being funny years ago anyway!"

"Oh yeah, you're right." Gary shrugged, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. "I got the impression you were really good at stalking Ash though. I'm surprised you lost him."

"Stalking him?" Brock suddenly looked shifty. "Hey, I swear ending up in Sinnoh was a mere coincidence. I had no idea he was even in this region."

"Uh huh, sure," Gary muttered. He didn't believe Brock's story one bit. "Well, I haven't seen Ash or Dawn anywhere. Sinnoh is a pretty big place, you know." Suddenly, a ringing sound emitted from his pocket and he reached into it, pulling out a cell phone. Brock looked at it in astonishment. "What can I say, being a Pokémon Researcher has some perks," Gary told him as he answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, Gary," Professor Oak spoke into the phone. "How is your research going at the moment?"

"Oh, Grandfather. Er, everything's going fine at the moment," Gary replied. "I've just finished an assignment for Professor Rowan and I've got some time off. I just happened to find Brock wandering around. Apparently he lost Ash and Dawn."

"Funny story, that. Ash and Dawn are in the back of my van right now," Professor Oak told him. Gary blinked slowly, wondering if he was playing a joke on him. "Something happened and they ended up in Kanto. So, I'm coming over to Sinnoh with Ash, Dawn, Misty, Tracey and Mrs Ketchum as well. We should be in Jubilife City by tomorrow afternoon."

"Um, right." Gary was still a bit confused. "Okay, we'll head to Jubilife City and meet you all there then. See you soon." He hung up the cell phone and put it back in his pocket. "Well, I can tell you that Ash and Dawn are in Kanto right now," he said, turning to face Brock.

"Seriously?" Brock exclaimed. No wonder he couldn't find them.

"That's what my grandfather said," Gary replied. "Everyone's coming to Sinnoh by the way so we're going to go to Jubilife City and meet them there." He started walking away without even waiting for a response. Brock followed, lost for words.

Somewhere far away, Mewthree sat on a rock and cried its eyes out. It couldn't believe that Giovanni had said such harsh and cruel words to it, especially when it had sworn to show love and devotion toward its former master. Were all humans this cruel? All it wanted was to be loved. The clone Pokémon sniffed and rubbed its teary eyes, wondering what it was supposed to do now that it had no master. Was there anyone in the world who even cared about it?

A small airship descended behind Mewthree and it turned around at the sound of whirring engines, watching curiously as a door slid open. The silhouette of a human appeared in the doorway and the mysterious person stepped out, approaching Mewthree. As he looked down at Mewthree, sitting forlornly against the rock, a smile spread across his face.

The next day, Gary and Brock had arrived in Jubilife City. Shortly after their arrival, Ash and the others arrived as well. After a lot of explaining, they all decided to go and eat lunch in a restaurant, little aware that something was watching them. The blue eyes faded into the darkness as it retreated, deciding to wait. They would surely come back out and then it would strike.

It took a very long time, considering there were eight of them and some of them also wanted to have dessert, but it was willing to wait for as long as it took. Eventually, they all came out of the restaurant, paying little attention to anything around themselves as they talked about how good the food had been and other random, completely trivial stuff. So it came as a surprise to them when a fuzzy pink Pokémon suddenly jumped in front of them and waved.

"What is this?" Professor Oak stared at the Pokémon in confusion. "I don't think that I have ever seen this before."

"Really? Then it must be a rare Pokémon!" Tracey whipped out his sketchpad and started to draw.

"Oh, give me a break." Gary rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

"Ah! That's...!" Ash broke off, looking positively horrified as he saw the Pokémon that had kidnapped him and Dawn the day before.

"You know what it is, Ash?" Brock asked.

"It's Mewthree!" Dawn shrieked. "Run for it!"

"Oh my! It's very cute!" Delia clasped her hands together, looking at Mewthree adoringly.

"This is the strange Pokémon you spoke of?" Misty watched Mewthree with suspicion. "I wonder what it wants with us."

"You're not going to kidnap us again, are you?" Ash asked nervously.

"I have been ordered by my master to kidnap you all. He specifically said I was to kidnap some people by the names of Ash Ketchum, Misty Waterflower, Brock Slate, Gary Oak, Tracey Sketchit, Delia Ketchum, Professor Samuel Oak, May and Max Maple, as well as some people named Jessie and James from Team Rocket," Mewthree told them. "Seven out of eleven isn't so bad, I'll just get the rest later. I guess I'll take that girl too so she doesn't feel left out."

"My name is Dawn Berlitz, thank you very much!" Dawn snapped. She was almost tempted to say she wouldn't feel left out at all so that she wouldn't be kidnapped, but then she realised she probably would feel left out and she would be alone for that matter.

"Eh? Why does your master want us kidnapped?" Gary asked.

"Your master is Team Rocket's boss, right?" Ash frowned.

Mewthree shook its head. "I have abandoned my former master and gained a new master who wishes to have his identity kept secret for the moment. Ok, it's time for you to be kidnapped!" it said brightly with a very big smile that made everyone feel just a little bit freaked out. Then Mewthree teleported out with all of them.

Jessie, James and Meowth were currently in another town nearby, trying to come up with some random plot involving stealing Pikachu. It was hard to think of anything that they hadn't tried before, but they were determined to try anyway. Sometimes they would realise what a lost cause trying to steal Pikachu was, but it wasn't long before they remembered how powerful he was and were immediately chasing after the twerps and attempting to steal Pikachu for the umpteenth time.

"Hi!" Mewthree appeared before them an hour later, interrupting them. "Jessie, James and Meowth of Team Rocket, I presume?"

"Well, yeah," Jessie said, staring at Mewthree. "Just what are you?"

"It kind of looks a bit like Mew and a bit like Mewtwo," James commented. "It's like they got together and had some freaky offspring."

"But wouldn't that be like incest?" Meowth asked. Jessie and James looked at the feline Pokémon in confusion, both of them now wondering the same thing. The trio of Pokémon thieves were still thinking about it when Mewthree suddenly teleported out with them.

May was very surprised to be abducted by a strange Pokémon she had never seen before. She had just been on her way to the next town with a Pokémon Contest happening in it when she was suddenly whisked away without any warning. Max was also quickly abducted from a very exciting session where he was brushing his father's Slaking yet again. Well, actually, it wasn't all that exciting, so he didn't quite mind getting kidnapped too much especially when he saw where he had been taken.

Now Ash, Brock, Dawn, May, Max, Misty, Gary, Jessie, James, Tracey, Professor Oak and Delia, along with Pikachu, Piplup and Meowth, were all stuck in a cell and wondering just what they had done to deserve this. Who could possibly want to capture them all? It seemed rather random and strange.

"This seems rather familiar," Brock said thoughtfully. "We have been in a very similar situation before."

"Yeah, except Dawn wasn't with us. Naturally, because we hadn't even met her yet," Ash said. "You don't think it's got anything to do with that?"

"Huh? What?" Dawn looked around in confusion.

"It's a long story and quite complicated too," May responded. "I'm not sure you would understand it. Let's just say there was a bad guy who kidnapped us all once because he wanted to take over the world and leave it at that. Except he was defeated and we never saw him again after that."

"I finished my drawing of Mewthree!" Tracey proudly held up his sketchpad and smiled. "Isn't it great?"

"Wow, it's actually pretty good," Max commented, while everyone else glared at Tracey.

"You must be so scared, Max," May said, looking at her little brother in concern. "Don't worry, I won't let any bad guys get you."

"Eh, I'm fine, sis." Max gave her an odd look. "I'm actually pretty excited wondering what's going to happen next. It's so boring waiting at the gym and wondering when I'm going to turn ten."

"Um, Max?" Ash asked. Max looked at him. "We don't age. You are going to be eight years old forever. Haven't you realised that yet?"

"Ash!" May exclaimed in horror. How could he go and destroy Max's optimism like that?

"I hate to say it, but Ash is right," Misty said dully. "Your Pokémon journey's never going to happen."

Max's face turned pale as he finally faced the truth. Nobody aged and that included him. "No..." He shook his head, his eyes widening.

"How could you?" May looked aghast. "Poor Max!"

"That kid's got to face the truth sooner or later," Gary said unsympathetically. "Might as well face it now."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Max screamed and collapsed to the floor, sobbing.

"I don't get how time can pass and we don't age. It makes no sense," said Brock, as he leaned against the wall.

"Does anyone even know why we're in here?" James enquired.

"If they knew, then we would too!" Jessie snapped. "This is ridiculous! Just what was that freak Pokémon we saw anyway?"

"Mewthree," Ash replied. "It's probably another clone of Mew."

"Why would they make another clone? That's downright weird," Meowth commented.

Max was still bawling, much to the annoyance of everyone in the cell.

"Alright, Max, we get it already!" May shouted. "You're upset that you're never going to be ten. Now will you SHUT UP?"

Everyone looked at May in astonishment and she giggled nervously, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment. "Sorry."

Mercifully, Max had been shocked into silence and now he was staring dumbly at his sister. She very rarely ever yelled at him. The worst thing was, he couldn't run crying to his mommy and telling her that May was a meanie. He was stuck in this cell with everyone and none of them cared that May had been a meanie to him. How unfair life was.

Eventually, Mewthree returned and opened the cell door. "My master now wishes to see you all," it announced. "Please come with me."

"What if we don't?" Gary asked.

"Then I will have to force you to." Mewthree smiled pleasantly.

"Uh... right. I'll come willingly," Gary said quickly. He didn't want to find out how Mewthree would force him.

"I hope we aren't going to be in any trouble," Delia fretted as they all piled out.

"Don't worry, Delia," Professor Oak said reassuringly. "No matter how bad the situation gets, it will turn out fine. They always do."

Mewthree led the group through a bunch of winding corridors until they entered a large room. In the centre of the room, they saw a large swivel chair with its back turned to them. Mewthree closed the doors and floated over to stand next to the chair.

"Excellent job, Mewthree," said an ominous male voice. "I am very proud of you."

"Thank you, Master." Mewthree bowed.

The chair suddenly swung around and the cloaked figure rose to his feet. Part of his face was covered in metal and beneath the cloak, they could see what looked like shining scraps of metal covering part of his body as well. "It has been a very long time," he said in a grave voice. "But at last we meet again." He let out a hollow laugh.

Comprehension slowly dawned on everyone except Dawn ironically enough and while Dawn wondered how the author could make such an awful pun like that, everyone else gasped in shock as they realised who it was.


	4. Acid Trip Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Acid Trip**

**Acid Trip**

* * *

"It's TEEAMG!" Ash shouted.

"Teeyamgee?" Dawn repeated. "Who would name their child Teeyamgee?"

"It's actually T-E-E-A-M-G," Brock explained.

"Oh... and you all know him?" Dawn asked. Everyone nodded. "I see. You all know him." She exhaled heavily. "You _all _know him."

"You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true," Gary told her.

"I don't know him!" Dawn wailed, falling to her knees. "I feel so out of the loop here."

"It's okay, Dawn. You're just kind of new," May consoled, going over to her. "Anyway, we only met the guy once and we didn't really think we would see him again. It's no big deal." She held out her hand and Dawn reluctantly took it, standing up.

"What did TEEAMG stand for again?" James asked.

"The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy," Jessie said patiently.

"What's your real name anyway?" Meowth asked. "It's kind of silly calling you TEEAMG."

"Bob," replied TEEAMG. "That's my real name."

"Uh... I think we'll just stick with TEEAMG," Meowth said uncertainly. Everyone else seemed to agree.

"So what's the big deal anyway?" Misty glared at TEEAMG. "We thought you were gone!"

"I barely survived the blast and the landing," TEEAMG said in a rueful voice. "At the last moment, my life was saved but most of my body was so badly damaged, it had to be repaired with prosthetics. It took a long time to recover, but now I am ready! HA HA HA HA!"

"So you kidnapped us all, why?" Professor Oak asked. "It was a crazed salt Pokémon that sent you blasting off."

"Salt Pokémon?" Dawn repeated in disbelief.

"Yeah, it was born from a salt lick and it had issues because people slew all the salt Pokémon in the past when they stole their salt from them," Max explained. "It evolved twice and ended up wanting to destroy the world, but it was defeated."

"Please tell me he's just insane." Dawn looked at May. May shook her head apologetically.

"Just relax, Dawn," Brock said. "It's the only way you'll cope with all this."

"I hoped to use that salt Pokémon to take over the world, but my plans failed miserably and it was defeated," TEEAMG said in disgust. "I lost so much of my body trying as well, and almost my life. But now things have turned out for the better, because now I have MEWTHREE!" He laughed again. TEEAMG was pretty fond of evil laughter.

"Were you the one who created Mewthree?" Ash asked.

"Oh, no, it was the leader of Team Rocket's doing," TEEAMG replied. "He called me up yesterday in quite a foul temper, saying he created some pathetic... sorry, Mewthree, that's just what he said... clone and it had gone and blown up his base, so I searched for Mewthree and found it."

"Master TEEAMG is so nice to me," Mewthree said. "He let me sleep in his bed and he gives me lots of cuddles and treats! He is much nicer than that nasty Giovanni!"

"What do you intend on doing with Mewthree?" Ash looked at the villain furiously.

"Why, taking over the world of course!" TEEAMG laughed. "But first I thought I would deal with you meddling kids! And adults too."

"How do you intend to deal with us?" Max asked in a small voice.

"With good old fashioned torture, what else?" TEEAMG shrugged. "Mewthree, show them what real torture is. Use your Sing attack on them!" He quickly whipped out a pair of earmuffs and put them on his head.

Everybody stared at Mewthree in confusion, as it prepared to start singing. Was TEEAMG planning to torture them by sending them to sleep?

"_I love you  
You love me  
We're best friends  
Like friends should be..."_

As Mewthree continued to sing the terrible song, almost everyone put their ears over their hands and started screaming in pain. When Mewthree finished singing the song, it just started singing the same song again. The pain of listening to it was just too much and they sank to their knees, groaning and wishing the ground would swallow them all up whole. However, one person among them was not screaming in agony and begging for death.

Ash looked around, wondering why everyone were screaming like banshees. He looked at Mewthree again in confusion. "I don't get it."

"Sing a different song, Mewthree!" TEEAMG ordered, looking mildly astonished. How could he possibly be resisting the torture that had everyone else in so much agony?

_"If you wannabe my lover..."_

This time, it hurt. Ash whimpered as Mewthree kept on singing. "Stop it, please. That's really annoying..." He put his hands over his ears, wishing that Mewthree would just stop singing already. Eventually, his knees buckled and he fell to the floor groaning.

Misty was suddenly feeling something other than pain right now. That song was just so darn annoying and it was making her get really mad. "THAT'S IT!" she shrieked, once Mewthree was about to begin a third round of the song. Mewthree stopped as Misty gave it a homicidal glare and squeaked nervously. "I'M GOING TO WRING YOUR FURRY LITTLE-"

"Misty, calm down!" Brock put a hand on her shoulder. "The enemy is TEEAMG, not Mewthree, remember? He's just using it."

"Oh, right, of course. Well, I've got an idea anyway." Misty jumped to her feet and marched over to TEEAMG. He certainly didn't expect her to suddenly rip the earmuffs off his head and angrily stomp on them with her feet. "Alright, everyone, start singing Diamond and Pearl, and anyone who doesn't sing it is going to get hurt!"

Everyone looked at her in astonishment. When Misty gave them a homicidal glare, they realised they had better do what she said, even if her request sounded a little odd.

"Hah hah hah!" TEEAMG found this idea horribly amusing. "You really think you can think of a song torturous enough for me? Nobody is better than Mewthree when it comes to thinking of annoying songs."

_"Pokémon! Pokémon!  
It's all about the challenges.  
It's a brand new game  
and a brand new world..."_

It took quite a few rounds of singing it over and over, but eventually TEEAMG clutched his head and screamed. "Stop it already!" he yelled. "I've had enough of this! Mewthree, do something!"

Mewthree was feeling quite perplexed and unsure of what to do, so it cast Teeter Dance on everyone and they began dancing.

"Let's sing a different song!" Ash was bored of Diamond and Pearl by now and wanted to sing something else. He wasn't at all bothered by the fact they were dancing against their will. _"I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was..."_

"That's not annoying!" Misty shouted in frustration. "Oh, what the heck. I miss that song. _To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause..._"

TEEAMG watched on in disbelief as everyone started singing along. Somehow, they all knew the lyrics.

_"I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. Each Pokémon to understand, the power that's inside."_

"Master TEEAMG, is there anything else I should do?" Mewthree asked, turning its wide blue eyed gaze on him.

_"Pokémon. Gotta Catch 'em All. It's you and me. I know it's my destiny. Pokémon."_

TEEAMG just sighed and buried his half metal face in his hands, one of which was actually a clawed metal prosthetic. "I don't know," he groaned. "I just don't." He had brought them here to subject them to cruel and unusual punishment, not watch them have fun.

_"Oh, you're my best friend in a world we must defend. Pokémon, Gotta Catch 'em All. A heart so true. Our courage will pull us through. You teach me and I'll teach you."_

"I could use Acid Trip again, but all that will really do is put them to sleep and make them have strange dreams." Mewthree drooped a little. It really was just a useless clone after all. Teleport wouldn't be much help either, it knew that much.

_"POKÉMON, GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALLLLLLL!"_

"Are you done yet?" TEEAMG asked tiredly when everyone came to a stop.

"Wow, this is so much fun!" Delia commented, smiling at Professor Oak. "We should take vacations more often."

"I'd rather we didn't spend these vacations getting kidnapped though," Professor Oak said.

Tracey sat down and started doing another sketch of Mewthree.

"Can we leave now?" Gary asked.

"No!" TEEAMG replied. "Because... er... oh yeah, I have a really evil plan up my sleeve. Muahahahahahaha!"

"That's a pretty impressive evil laugh," said James. "Whenever I try it, it comes out like 'eeeheeeheee' or something equally freaky sounding."

"You're just weird, James," Jessie told him.

"A really evil plan?" May repeated, looking shocked.

"Oh, yes! You aren't going to get away so easily! Muahahahahaha!" TEEAMG pulled out a remote control and pressed a button. Suddenly, all the doors leading into the room slid shut.

"You locked us in the room? That's your really evil plan?" Misty asked in disbelief.

"Not only that, you locked yourself in with us!" Dawn pointed out.

"Oh, did I?" TEEAMG pointed upward to an open skylight in the ceiling. They could see the clear sky above them.

"I don't get it," said Max.

TEEAMG pressed another button. "I have just activated several explosives buried within the building. They will be going off in five minutes. Have a nice day." He stood up and activated the jetpack attached to his back, zooming up through the skylight.

Everyone stood silent, shocked by what had just happened. The skylight closed with a soft hum, trapping them completely within the room.

"Son of a bitch!" Ash screamed, falling to his knees and punching the floor furiously.

"Now, you watch your language, young man!" Delia scolded him.

"The whole place is going to blow up!" May shrieked, holding her head in her hands. "We're locked in!"

"I don't want to die!" Dawn wailed, clutching Piplup.

Jessie, James and Meowth all held onto each other, crying in fear.

"Mewthree's still here," Brock suddenly realised. "Hey, Mewthree," he said, approaching the Pokémon. "Don't you understand what's happening?"

"Um, Master TEEAMG is going to blow you all up?" Mewthree guessed.

"We have less than five minutes to live!" Misty shrieked. "This can't be happening!"

"If anybody wants to call someone and say goodbye, I've got a cell phone," Gary spoke in a monotone. "Twenty seconds per person should cover it."

"Mewthree, TEEAMG just left you with us," Brock said. "He didn't even tell you to leave. Don't you realise what's going on?"

Mewthree just regarded him with confusion.

"TEEAMG left you to die too!" Brock exclaimed.

"What... no... Master TEEAMG wouldn't do that..." Mewthree shook its head.

"He just did! If TEEAMG really cared about you, don't you think he would have made sure you came too?" Ash walked over to Mewthree.

"That can't be..." Mewthree looked horrified.

"He was only using you from the start, just like... Giovanni, was it?" Ash continued speaking. "You were just a tool to TEEAMG."

"Did he leave me... because he thought I was useless?" Mewthree's eyes started tearing up.

"Three minutes." Misty looked at her Poké Gear. "We have got three minutes to live now." That was if TEEAMG had been telling the truth about the five minutes thing anyway.

"You are not useless, Mewthree!" Ash snapped. "Don't let anybody call you that. There's nothing wrong with being a clone either. It doesn't make you any less special than any other Pokémon out there and I mean it." Mewthree stared at him.

"Oh, I see what Ash is doing," Professor Oak observed. "He's trying to save our lives by making some heartfelt speech."

"There's... nothing wrong with me?" Mewthree asked slowly. "But nobody loves me. All I wanted was to be loved and they just used me."

"I don't get it. How is making Mewthree happy going to save us from getting blown up?" Max muttered.

"Don't worry, Max. It might actually work." May crossed her fingers. "I hope."

"But we care about you!" Ash exclaimed. "Let's be friends, Mewthree. How about it?" He smiled.

"Okay!" Mewthree squealed, flying at him in a delighted embrace.

"Heh..." Ash awkwardly patted Mewthree's back. "Okay, Mewthree, now that we're your friends, how about teleporting us all out of this building?"

Mewthree let go of him and floated backward, staring at him sharply. "You mean you were just being nice to me and asked me to be your friend so that I could save your lives?"

"Uh..." Ash was lost for words.

"Do you really want a jerk like TEEAMG to get away with his evil plots?" Brock interrupted.

"Two minutes." Misty tapped her foot.

"Think about it," Brock went on. "If you save our lives now, then you would be getting back at TEEAMG and we can all go and punish him for what he tried to do. He left you to die. Don't you think he deserves to get his just desserts?"

"Well, I guess," Mewthree said uncertainly.

"Oh yeah, try some of this really nice Pokémon food." Brock took some food out of his pocket, much to everyone's astonishment, and Mewthree took it. It then ate the food and appeared to enjoy it. "Did you like it?" Mewthree nodded eagerly. "I'll let you eat even more later on if you like, but if we die, that's not going to happen."

Ash's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe what was happening. Was Brock actually the one saving the day here? And he'd thought he was going to be the one doing it.

"So much for your plan, huh, Ashy-boy?" Gary walked up behind him, smirking.

"Shut up, Gary," Ash muttered under his breath.

Mewthree appeared to be considering Brock's offer seriously. Everyone waited with bated breath, wondering if Mewthree would ever make a decision.

"One minute," Misty whispered.

"Okay then!" Mewthree nodded, smiling. "I could have just teleported out of here by myself, but I'll bring you all along as well!"

A minute later, the entire building exploded in a giant ball of orange fire and the sky was filled with smoke. A team of fire-fighters turned up and battled the flames until they were extinguished, then the police came and did a thorough search of the place, finding it completely empty. Then they wondered why someone would plant explosives inside an empty building and then blow it all up.

**One week later.**

TEEAMG sighed with pleasure as he leaned back in his deckchair, sipping at his martini. He was quite enjoying his stay at the holiday resort in Sunyshore City and didn't care if people kept walking past and giving him strange looks when he was sunbathing on the beach. They had just never seen a part metal person before, had they? Having metal parts was a bit of a drawback however as they tended to overheat easily in the sun but at least he was alive and able to function normally.

"Hmm, I wonder how I should take over the world now?" TEEAMG started talking to himself. He did have a nasty habit of doing that. "I wonder what happened to Mewthree? It was just a useless freak of nature anyway. Taking over the world shouldn't be too hard for someone like The Extremely Evil And Mysterious Guy. I can even commit murder and get away with it." He quietly laughed to himself and smirked. Sooner or later, he would figure out some random evil plan to take over the world, but for now he was content to enjoy himself.

A moment later, an Officer Jenny walked over to him. "Excuse me, are you The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy?" This was a pretty dumb question to ask, considering he was probably the only man with a partly metal body in the whole of Sinnoh, but intelligence was never Officer Jenny's strong point.

"Well, that's what some people call me," replied TEEAMG. "You can just call me TEEAMG." He suddenly started feeling a little nervous. Why was an Officer Jenny coming up and talking to him in the first place anyway?

"Very well, TEEAMG." Officer Jenny pulled out a pair of handcuffs. "You are under arrest for conspiring to take over the world and attempted murder."

"Attempted?" TEEAMG yelled. "What do you mean _attempted_?"

Officer Jenny exhaled heavily. "Most people accused of attempted murder would simply reply that they never tried to kill anyone. You just pretty much confessed to your crime."

"Oh crap." TEEAMG knew he was screwed now. "But, seriously, what do you mean by attempted?" he asked as Officer Jenny pulled him off the deckchair and slapped handcuffs onto his wrists. "I blew them all up! Wait... Mewthree... that traitor!" he roared.

"Come on, you're going to jail." Officer Jenny pulled him along to where a police van was waiting for him. He was thrown into the van and it drove away.

Ash, Brock, Dawn and Gary stood on the other side of the street, watching the van drive off. Team Rocket would have come too, but plotting another way to steal more Pokémon was more important and anyway they didn't want to be anywhere near Officer Jenny. Professor Oak, Delia, Tracey, Misty, May and Max had already returned to where they were supposed to be.

"I guess that's the last we'll be seeing of TEEAMG for real this time," Ash said. "Now that he's in jail where he belongs, there's nothing to worry about."

"I wonder if Mewthree's going to be alright?" Dawn wondered. Mewthree had gone off into the wild after parting ways.

"Pip?" Piplup looked up.

"Mewthree should be fine. It knows to be careful about trusting humans now," Brock replied. "Hopefully, nobody will ever try to use it for bad things again. Mewthree doesn't deserve to be treated like a tool."

"If it hadn't been for Mewthree, we would all have been blown up." Gary shook his head. "TEEAMG really is a nutcase."

"Yeah, no kidding. I'm never going to forget Mewthree," Ash said, smiling. Except he would forget about it less than a week later anyway.

"Pika!" Pikachu spoke in agreement.

"Hey, Gary, why don't you say a poem?" Dawn turned around to look at him.

"Eh?" Gary sighed in resignation. Dawn was crazy about poems and was under the impression he was a poet, simply for the fact his grandfather wrote poetry. "Fine. Even if you're a clone, you won't be alone." Blargh. That was a terrible poem.

"Wow!" Dawn's eyes sparkled in rapture. "That's amazing, Gary!"

Ash and Brock exchanged a weary look. Gary smiled awkwardly as Dawn continued to fangirl him, even more convinced Dawn was mentally unstable.


End file.
